Tuesday, July 9, 2013

catching up

time goes by too quickly.
I think all the time that I should blog...people say "write that down." and I rarely do...

here are a few quirky Kinney Kid anecdotes as of late.

Camden has a toy ice cube which lights up when you put it in water. He plays with it in the tub. He consistently calls this ice cube a suitcase. For some reason these two words have interchanged in his little brain and I hate to correct him cuz this is simply too cute. Camden is FUNNY. He is witty. We had been working with him to know when his birthday is...one day instead of saying NOvember One, he answered with a big grin YESvember One!! :)

Ethan just recently came to learn that pork does not, in fact, come from porcupines. :) Ethan and I also had our first experience volunteering at Jesus Loves Kalamazoo last night. He is such a sweet kid. We didn't do much, but we showed up and spent time together, which was really nice. I worry a lot about my relationship with him. He has always been a parenting challenge, but so very joy giving as well. I feel him growing up so fast and maturing in so many ways. And because he is the oldest, his needs often get put last. And I often find myself snuggling Ellery and Camden, and I look over at Ethan and wonder how he is doing...sometimes he will still come over to me and ask to snuggle and I remind myself that these days are numbered. Being a parent is seriously hard stuff. Its hard to do it right and its hard to know you only get one chance at it. Each summer, I feel so much pressure to make sure we are making enough memories and the right memories and are we giving them enough freedom, but keeping them innocent for as long as we can...its all hard.

After nearly 14 years at the same organization...my last day is Aug 2nd. I have been in constant prayer for so long for God to use me for something with a higher purpose. And I know this new job is by his leading, but admittedly--I am so nervous!! I was talking to my mom on the phone and feeling stressed and overwhelmed with all that is required as I am currently working both jobs. Ellery was overhearing, of course, because its my MOM, I get all choked up and tell her about feeling overwhelmed by it all. I hang up and Ellery asks if I am crying. I tell her that even though I am a grown up, sometimes when my mom asks me what is wrong, I still come undone. I explained that I was just feeling stressed with all that needs to be done at the house and the 2 jobs and still wanting to have fun with my kids this summer. She also gets all teary eyed and tells me, actually insists, that I let her do all the work around the house for me. She has an enormous heart and she truly, honestly, wants to help. I am blown away by her compassion and I silently thank God for giving me this girl. Out of all the girls in the world, this girl gets me and IS me in so many ways. She restores me in ways I never knew a kid could.

Kyle and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage this coming September. In years past, we had talked of grand plans to go away on a big trip to celebrate. but when it comes down to it, we just don't have the money to do it. So we will go to the condo and take my parents convertible, which will be just fine. It will be nice to get away and spend some one on one time together. Its hard to believe all that has been packed into 10 years. in some ways it seems like it was yesterday, but in others it was a lifetime ago. I am truly blessed by having this man walk beside me in this journey of life. Kyle keeps me grounded and balances me.

Monday, December 17, 2012

faith, trust, joy

I have been meaning to log on and write about Ethan who turned 8 eleven days ago. But this morning I needed to put into words the feelings I had this morning as I sent Ethan and Ellery to the bus stop. It was the first time I cried over the horrific school shootings in CT this past Friday. I have avoided any news coverage and tried to not learn of the details. I simply can't let myself know. We didn't tell the kids anything, though my first thought was that we should. Kyle said there was no lesson to be learned, its not like telling them not to talk to strangers. Unless they hear about it, we aren't talking about it.
We went about our day on Friday and that evening we went to a kids event at church. Ethan gave his heart to Jesus that night!
This morning I got my kids ready for school, it was Pajamma Day and they were super excited. I wasn't nervous until I zipped up Ellery's coat and kissed her forhead. I thought about all the mommies that did the exact same thing to their babies last week Friday and will never do it again.
I thought about the teachers at my kids school and all of the other teachers around the country. I worried because I trust their teachers to teach them well, to call me if they get hurt, to help them learn to be good citizens, but in that moment it occured to me that I don't trust them to defend my childrens lives. I wonder if teachers are going to school with a different mindset about their jobs today. But then I took a minute to really think about this. I don't trust them to defend my children from a killer, but I don't have to; I trust God with their lives and with their deaths, and I pray for my own sake that the latter doesn't happen until they are old and gray and have lived happy and full lives. But this world is broken and there is pain. There is no way to know when any of our lives will come to an earthly end. The Good News is that God sent his son Jesus to be our Savior, by which we can spend eternity in Heaven where there is no pain, no fear, and no worry.  I know that as humans, we will strive to find a way to prevent this type of tragedy from ever happening again, we will argue about gun control, maybe we will make changes to our daily lives to feel more secure. Ultimately, I will rest in the security that my relationship with God Almighty will sustain me in whatever life on earth will bring, and the promise that this is not our home.
Now back to that part about Ethan giving his heart to Jesus...that is what this life is all about. I am so full of Joy for Ethan, to continue to lead him to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, who is The Comforter and the Healer. When the trials of this life come his way, I pray that he will lean full into a faith that will sustain him and carry him. Ethan is an amazing kid. This morning he was up early with me and Camden, I watched him teach his little brother about shapes while they did puzzles together. He was so encouraging to Camden, telling him, "you got it! Good job!" Ethan is sensitive, he recognizes others emotions and responds to them. He is smart, crazy smart. He might just have his first real crush. He blushes when I ask him about a certain little girl in school. :) He has a very cool relationship with Kyle. They spend a lot of time together and Ethan loves to wrestle him! So I wish my boy a very happy 8th year! I pray that the joy of knowing Christ will bring him to places in life he never dreamed were possible and that he would always feel the comfort only provided by our heavenly father.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Eve of Two

Camden will be TWO years old tomorrow. How on earth can that be the case? Each kid grows faster, I swear. Camden has been a peach of a baby his whole little life. He has brought a feeling of completion to our family and I am beyond smitten with him. When we were pregnant with Camden and at our ultrasound appointment about to find out the gender...Kyle had suspected a girl, and I sort of went along with him because he is always right about everything...but when she said he was a boy, I think we were both shocked. But it only took about 5 seconds for us to both realize that another boy was a perfect fit for us! And this boy has been amazing. He.is.joy.
On the eve of two, he speaks in complete sentences, he is obsessed with Dora and Cailou, he loves to dance to music and jump on the couch. He only just stopped calling marbles "eyeballs" and he calls spiders "spidermans." He loves to wrestle with Kyle and the big kids. His favorite phrase is "watch this mommy!" He has started to really get an imagination and engage in pretend play. Yesterday the nanny overheard him talking to one of Ellery's baby dolls, saying, "its ok, don't be scared, Camden's here." melt my heart! The poor buddy wakes up from his nap nearly everyday crying about a crocodile chasing him--so we know his imagination is in full force. He shares a room with Ethan and I am often woken at 6:30 am with the sounds of those 2 giggling or throwing stuffed animals at each other. Ethan asks Camden every morning, "what should we do today Camden?" and they talk about whatever it is that is on their minds so early in the morning. He also loves to play catch, he has an incredible aim for throwing and can coax pretty much anyone into playing with him.


Its hard to sum up all that is this boy into words. Love him! Happy 2nd birthday baby Cam!